Trans (-), pregnancy, dysphoria, transphobia, apologising to the void
I'm honestly amazed that I managed to stay in denial for so long when I regularly used to cry myself to sleep over that fact I'll never carry my own children when I was 14.
I still struggle with it. I desperately want to mother children who have come from a part I'd me that just doesn't exist. I don't cry over it anymore now though - I just feel a numbness to it. I hate it.
And god do I feel fucking awful about the trans girls I used to attack back then: "It's not like it's unexpected, it's not like you were "real" women, it's not like you've any right to fell that way."
I was so desperate to deny my own struggle and my own pain that I lashed out at anyone who was dealing with the same. I was vile and disgusting. I lost some good friends in doing that.
I'm not sure I'll ever feel anything other than guilt and regret about that. I was struggling. I could have shared in my experience and discovered something about myself sooner. But instead I chose aggression and isolation because I couldn't bear the weight of my own thoughts
tl;dr= no fascists, no bullying, no doing fucked up shit. You know what that means. Otherwise a lot of us are socialists, leftists etc. Dont bully people either. Or start witch hunts. You can have bots as long as administration clears them first The site is available on TOR! https://www.starrev3tah2dnhj.onion Note: letsencrypt won't sign a .onion domain cert so you will have to make a security exception as it uses the same cert for the main domain